When an Unconscious Desire Gets Messy

A former king who must take back his crown from a deranged necromancer and avenge his martyred wife and daughter.

A 75-year-old hopeless romantic who seeks to find her next true love in the same Izakaya she met her deceased husband.

A writer who hopes his novel will earn him enough money to save his family’s home, even though everyone pushes for him to give up his dream.

What do these characters have in common? A will. A Desire. 

Do you think there is any coincidence that we as real humans also have desires? I have never met anyone who lacks any desire, and each of the characters above that I pulled out of my pants are not that much different than anyone I have met in real life. A chronically single friend awaiting love. A creative spirit with a dream who knows the harsh reality of providing for a family. Someone who has experienced immense loss and the grief and anger that forms as a result…woah…maybe I’m actually just thinking of myself.

We all make choices and yearn for our own desires every day, so why do we feel a need to consume and create stories about other people’s desires? That is a topic talked about in Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and The Principles of Screenwriting by Robert McKee, and I found myself moved by what he has written.

Making my way through McKee’s writing on the substance of a well-crafted protagonist, one of the first things they need is clear: A desire. He explains that no one wants to read about a character that has no want or need for anything, who is completely untouched by anything around them. That is pretty common sense thinking. When reading that passage, my mind said to itself “check!” Thinking about the main character in my own story, I patted myself on the back and said “good job I did something right,” but it was the next paragraph that got the gears in my mind turning.

McKee’s next point is that the most impactful characters have a self-contradictory and unconscious desire - and I’m like “whoa, do mine have that?” Upon further inflection, I was pleased to realize my protagonist did have one, I just had not noticed it until then. The first example of a main character you saw at the beginning of this blog is actually mine. Toren’s decision making so far has been rooted in his clearly stated desire of wanting to avenge his family by taking back his crown and taking his revenge on the man who has caused him so much pain. 

Upon reflecting on him some more, I realized his unconscious desire was actually peace. I had aspects of his character development planned out for some time, but a clear unspoken, hidden desire buried in his consciousness was not one of them. I have written Toren to be a loving husband, a girl dad, and a man who prized his family. His current quest for vengeance was shaped by the choices he believed were in front of him when his world came crashing down. Due to the character traits I established early on in the writing process, I realized his unconscious desire by looking at what his mind flashes back on, and what losses have been so detrimental to his well being. 

Early in the story, his crown, status, wealth, and prestige are all taken away. He moved on. He adjusted, adapted, and even began to find joy once again in his new, much simpler life because he had his wife and child. Once they are taken away, he spirals into a series of decisions fueled by anger, and his mental state begins to suffer as he blames himself for their deaths. His conscious desires are results of his unprocessed grief, his knee jerk reaction to the injustices of his world. Personally, I’ve been there. The flashbacks and chapters focused on the past show us what he longs for, the memories buried in his heart that have been snatched away. He’s living in his past due to the coldness of his harsh reality - but where does his unconscious desire for peace come into play? Well, I haven’t put those words on the page yet, but here are my thoughts for how to do so: 

Apply pressure.

Maybe I’ll be wrong, but we’re starting to see Toren’s true, unspoken desires come through as he finds himself facing increasingly higher stakes. My mission as a writer is to show his true nature through the choices he makes as he interacts with other characters, the antagonist, and his world.  A question I ask myself is ‘how do I use other characters for him to process his grief?’ I find myself thinking about my own life, and what my unconscious desire may be. I’ve had actions and words be fueled by grief, and what I thought I wanted, but when push came to shove and I found myself in situations where my choice would have dramatic impact on those around me, I realize my choice was often a result of what I knew was right deep down…and what I ultimately desire for myself and those around me. 

Toren is on a journey to obtain what he ultimately wants: Peace for himself and those around him. His unconscious desire is in direct conflict with his current actions, and you can argue that it is even in conflict with the role he has within his society, and I believe that is true.

What needs to change through all of that in order to resolve the conflict, is his heart, and how he inwardly and outwardly relates to his world. By studying this aspect of storytelling, I realized Toren and I have much in common. I look forward to seeing how Toren changes to rectify the internal and external conflict he faces to achieve his unconscious desire, and maybe I will learn a thing or two from him. 

To answer the earlier question, McKee comments that we consume and create stories based on other people’s desires in order for us to experience the fullest extent or human will power. From my current experience, I also add that we seek to see aspects of ourselves exemplified by characters achieving what we also desire deep down.